"There's bears in them-there woods!" Yup, you could probably say that about the new house. First let me begin by saying, "YES, I know leaving the trash out was not the best decision." Okay, so for the new house one of the first purchases made was a super lovely, green, $50 locking trashcan. That's right, I'm not talking about some baby wuss trashcan, we are talking about the heavy duty outdoor kinds. So we bought this "awesome" trashcan, so that we could store trash (what you would store in a trash can, right?) outside. Well the trashcan
has WAS great, until the day when I thought I was going to take the trash off. So picture this, lovely wooded nature, freshly mowed grass, cute boxer puppy jumping around, and giant black bags full of stinky trash. Yup, they were sitting there just screaming for me to take them away on the faithful ride to trash heaven. Of course, what did I do? I got distracted because Tim's parents were bringing his cute niece and nephew over and I LOVE getting to see those kids! Anyways, back to the stinky trash. Well after the kids had left, I notice that the time is way past closing time at the dump. Great. Annnndd, then my luck sets in, it rains. Stinky trash, outside, in the rain. Well you had better believe that I was not going to touch it now, because it was just nasty! I leave the trash outside...dinner time....snack time...(time passing). Sitting in the living room, after watching a movie ("Faster" with the Rock....SUCH a guy movie). I would like to mention that we are all sitting completely peacefully and calm (I think I was even sipping on some hot tea). All of the sudden! Otto sits straight up and begins throwing a fit, at this moment I realize that it sounds like someone has broken into the laundry room. I go into 5 year old little girl mode. I whimper and feel like I am going to do that thing where I am going to cry, but it's really just for attention. So Tim does the Otto thing and sits completely straight and still and he gets this crazy look in his eye. He runs and gets the gun. At this point, I scoop up Otto and hold him against me (because he was obviously the one acting like a 5 year old girl....) and I hide behind Tim. I literally did not know what else to do... so I just hid behind him. It felt like the safest place. So Tim gets in stealth mode and we are creeping our way to the laundry room where our back door is and we find scary,
crazy, zombie burglar trying to steal our lavender laundry detergent and our little dog too! No, we found nasty, wet, stinky garbage thrown in our yarn and a giant bag tossed in front of my car blocking my way home for the night. Tim saw something large galloping around the woods in our yard and heard it grunting (probably saying "Ha Ha WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD SUCKERS" moment of evil bear laughter) I would like to point out that this, yes, this fine moment, is when I realized that the bear, our bear, has a personal vendetta against me. His message to me then was, "Hey, this is my land. The only way you're getting home is to pick up the stinky garbage that I put all over the yard." Thanks bear. After cleaning up the mess at lightening speed, I drove home. A few hours pass of sleeping (probably a few dreams about talking bears) and I wake up and find that Tim had sent me a text message. The bear came back, and got into our locking trashcan (where we triple bagged the previous night's mess) and made his second disaster in our yard... Okay. Tim had that mess cleaned up before I got there that morning. Well, the trashcan lost a few points of respect. A day passes, a few bear jokes are made, a few chuckles about "ha ha, dumb bear. We'll just lock the trash inside the house and then he will have to leave us alone." I think the bear was actually up in a tree listening to us, and rubbing its paws together (another moment for evil bear laughter).
If I had began blogging before now, I would have blogged about my compost bin that I made. Yes, I am on the path towards being green and eco friendliness. To make my compost bin, I bought a large storage bin (with a locking lid) and began to fill it with composting goodness. Please pay SPECIFIC attention to my compost ingredients:
1)NEWSPAPER
2)DIRT
3) SHREDDED CARDBOARD
4) USED ESPRESSO PODS FROM STARBUCKS
5) AND FINALLY, one happy worm that Tim and I found together named "Charles the Compost Worm"
I am was proud of our first compost. Until, Tim and I got home the following afternoon (after our hateful bear talk) and found my compost bin...destroyed. My compost was thrown ALL over the yard. The actual bin had puncture wounds ALL over it (teeth or claws). These are not tiny innocent raccoon little marks either! I was crushed, and really angry. What could the bear actually have wanted from the compost? His daily caffeine fix?!? And in the midst of trying to scoop up the compost remains, I found Charles the compost worm, chopped in half, by the blade of my own shovel.... That made me just flat out emotionally mad. How dare you bear!
Tonight, Tim and Otto and I were all in the living room after being gone rollerblading for a while. I kept thinking that I heard something. I kept nudging Tim who had fallen asleep with Otto on the floor while I had been trying to plan our honeymoon plan via phone. I kept nudging him saying "He's here, I know he his. I can hear him out there walking around." I'm sure I had the craziest look in my eye based on the expression Tim had on his face (Jack Nicholson's wife when she realizes he has gone crazy in the "Shining"). Otto would perk up an ear every now and then, but not really finding much with his sonic ear dog hearing. I had this feeling though in my gut. It was like the bear was standing outside, and he was sending me brain waves along the lines of "Comon' little girl, come out and play! You know I am here waiting." Well, you had better believe that I turned all nancy drew on the situation, I grabbed Tim's tiny LED flashlight, and I started yelling out the window in a man voice "Get outa here bear!" I ran to the back door and was trying to find his dirty little eyes staring at me...I didn't' see anything. The bear has messed with my mind. I am going to lock my car doors though, because I think that in his personal revenge (that has no purpose) against me, the next thing he is going to steal is my Ipod and I am not going to let him have the upper paw hand.
